Does my love life need LASIK?

I have always heard love is blind. I never was one to believe that saying. I have always patted myself on the back, saying that I go into relationships with my eyes wide open.

With the one big twenty year exception of my first marriage, lets just erase that like it was all a bad dream. Write it out of the script like the TV show Dallas did with Bobby Ewing coming out of the shower and the whole previous season was a dream…yea I like that…I dreamed for 20 years and woke up with two great kids.

I am an open and honest person, what you see is what you get. Now I am beginning to wonder does my love life need LASIK surgery?

The view I have recently seen is not the person I knew. I have had my eyes ripped open, scouring off a layer of cells and damaging my retinas.

Mr. Kind, Caring and Considerate (Mr.KCC)…made excuses for and allowed another human being to be used. A person I thought would never use or abuse another living soul actually supported this subterfuge that was perpetrated.

To explain: Party A has deep feelings for Party B. Party B wants to only be friends with Party A. Party B needed a financial transaction (a major purchase), Party A co-signed for Party B. Things were fine and friendly for a time, now a couple of months later…Party A is not around as often, if ever. One can only assume Party A has been kicked to the curb as their usefulness has been outlived.

Now as I see it this is using Party A’s feelings to get a desired result. Which is not what nice, kind and caring people do…it is abusive and just plain wrong! As I sat on the sidelines of this and said how I thought it was a “bad idea” and “wrong” the replies that flew at me were shocking. Party A “offered” and “wouldn’t do it if they didn’t want to.” Just because someone offers doesn’t mean you should take the offer, is what I recommended.

My heart hurt. I mean literally hurt. An ache in my chest for days that did not go away. I would look at Mr. KCC and all I saw was a stranger in his place. Had I been blind? Oh dear lord, was I one of those stupid women? What about Party A did their heart hurt, did they feel used, did they see the truth behind it all? Did they actually think Party B was going to change their type of relationship? And more importantly what kind of karma was all of this inviting into our lives?

Mr. KCC actually did not see the wrong here, someone offered a solution and the offer was accepted. No matter how I put it, he could not grasp that it was wrong and praying on Party A’s feelings. Now some may say it is none of His or my business…well it is because this is someone we love, care about and want to teach values to, which is Party B. And Party A is just a hell of a nice person who deserves to be treated better.

And that brings up a whole new topic of heart hurting, I don’t like the people I love to be cruel and inconsiderate of others. Each person has value and are placed into our lives for a reason. We should cherish each relationship, even the bad ones. My twenty year dream did bring two wonderful kids into this world, so all was not bad.

I don’t want rose colored glasses, but maybe I should Google LASIK and check out the procedure…my heart can’t take what my eyes can’t see.

Rock on Lawrence Welk

I was driving to work the other morning with my usual genre of music blaring, what my friends term as “angry white girl music”. This genre consists of anything that is loud and obscene. It makes your heart race and blood pump, the perfect early morning…get my ass to work by 6 a.m. kind of anthems.

Now I do like all types of music, I don’t discriminate. I can find a hard core rap or a whiney ass country song that speaks to me on occasion. But first thing in the morning I need something to get me going!

Stopped at a red light I looked at the car beside me, I could tell he was a fellow ‘rocker’. He was singing. I smiled and gave him the traditional ‘rock on’ hand signal and the dude did this head banging move and flashed me a ‘rock on’. Then we were on our way as the light turned green. It was cool to feel a kinship with my fellow traveler. Until the next red light.

There I encountered ‘the redneck round up’. I got behind two oversized pick up trucks with rebel flag bumper stickers and hunting/NRA stickers in their rear windows. Even with my windows rolled up I knew they were listening to either country or southern rock…now there is nothing wrong with a little “free bird” if that is what makes you tick. Just make sure see me down here in my little car and don’t run over me in your monster truck.

Things were moving smoothly and it looked as though Metallica and Korn were going to get me to work on time…until I got behind Mammaw Easy Listening! I could see Lawrence Welk’s bubbles escaping her sedan windows as she did 10 mph below the speed limit. As I went to pass her I noticed she could barely see over the steering wheel, which explained why she drifted in and out of the lane. Where could a woman who appeared to be 80+ years old be going this early in the morning? Was she going to Hardee’s to make the ‘from scratch’ biscuits? Was she going to bond a loved one out of jail? Was it senior day at one of the department stores?

Metallica‘s “Holier than thou” began crank out of my speakers. I wanted so badly to hang out of the windows and sing/wail to this little old lady who was making me late. I settled with just passing her and getting on to work. But the urge was there, so I rolled down my window and gave her a ‘rock on’ signal. Which I am sure she thought was a ‘bird’; because she shook her fist at me.

I did make it to work, backing into my parking space…no bubbles in sight.

Next time you get in you car and turn on the radio, pop in a CD or plug in your iPod think about where you are going and how fast do you need to get there. Does your driving speed match your music? Are you a Lawrence Welk or a Metallica?

And if you are a Metallica watch out for the denizen of Lawrence Welk’s fans and all those damn bubbles on the roadways!