Rock on Lawrence Welk

I was driving to work the other morning with my usual genre of music blaring, what my friends term as “angry white girl music”. This genre consists of anything that is loud and obscene. It makes your heart race and blood pump, the perfect early morning…get my ass to work by 6 a.m. kind of anthems.

Now I do like all types of music, I don’t discriminate. I can find a hard core rap or a whiney ass country song that speaks to me on occasion. But first thing in the morning I need something to get me going!

Stopped at a red light I looked at the car beside me, I could tell he was a fellow ‘rocker’. He was singing. I smiled and gave him the traditional ‘rock on’ hand signal and the dude did this head banging move and flashed me a ‘rock on’. Then we were on our way as the light turned green. It was cool to feel a kinship with my fellow traveler. Until the next red light.

There I encountered ‘the redneck round up’. I got behind two oversized pick up trucks with rebel flag bumper stickers and hunting/NRA stickers in their rear windows. Even with my windows rolled up I knew they were listening to either country or southern rock…now there is nothing wrong with a little “free bird” if that is what makes you tick. Just make sure see me down here in my little car and don’t run over me in your monster truck.

Things were moving smoothly and it looked as though Metallica and Korn were going to get me to work on time…until I got behind Mammaw Easy Listening! I could see Lawrence Welk’s bubbles escaping her sedan windows as she did 10 mph below the speed limit. As I went to pass her I noticed she could barely see over the steering wheel, which explained why she drifted in and out of the lane. Where could a woman who appeared to be 80+ years old be going this early in the morning? Was she going to Hardee’s to make the ‘from scratch’ biscuits? Was she going to bond a loved one out of jail? Was it senior day at one of the department stores?

Metallica‘s “Holier than thou” began crank out of my speakers. I wanted so badly to hang out of the windows and sing/wail to this little old lady who was making me late. I settled with just passing her and getting on to work. But the urge was there, so I rolled down my window and gave her a ‘rock on’ signal. Which I am sure she thought was a ‘bird’; because she shook her fist at me.

I did make it to work, backing into my parking space…no bubbles in sight.

Next time you get in you car and turn on the radio, pop in a CD or plug in your iPod think about where you are going and how fast do you need to get there. Does your driving speed match your music? Are you a Lawrence Welk or a Metallica?

And if you are a Metallica watch out for the denizen of Lawrence Welk’s fans and all those damn bubbles on the roadways!